The last few months have felt like I have been in a season of endless uphill battles of overcoming. It felt like I was being knocked down time after time by life’s lessons, challenges, roadblocks and suprises. Grief, loss, being away from my family and friends, not knowing a single person, having to make new friends, living alone and adjusting to silence and trying to get through all of that without a support network was very hard.

I am a believer that everything happens the way it should, even the things I don’t understand. In the depths of sadness over the last few months, I never lost sight of the fact that it was all temporary. Pain is temporary. I knew I had to dig deep, choose to look at my circumstances through the eyes of gratitude, growth and self discovery instead of falling into the habit of “woah is me”. I knew I needed to be mindful of my thoughts and not let them consume me. “I am not my thoughts!” was and continues to be my mantra. As a reformed over thinker this is what I choose to live by. I am not saying it was easy at all. Lord knows it wasn’t but I was only ever going to overcome what I faced. It was just a matter of how and when.

I know that first there is the pain, then the rising. The rising for me comes from choosing to heal through all the things that cause me tears, anxiety, heart ache and self doubt. I always choose to face my pain head on and explore why things make me feel the way they do. That takes a lot of courage and bravery. I ask myself the hard questions and face the reality of situations even if it is hard to swallow. It’s not the way everyone heals but it is the way I do. I learned that the most important thing to me is authenticity and living my own truth. Staying true to myself is priority. I know there is no true peace in lying to yourself. Lying about how bad your relationship really is, lying about how difficult it is for you to get through the day without anxiety, how much you really hate your job or how much you aren’t happy with the person you have become. My advice through my overcoming is to ask yourself the hard questions so you can find the true answers and work towards peace and forgiveness. Forgiveness of yourself and others.

Through my overcoming I have also learned that blame is a toxic and gripping thought process. It can convince you that you have no control over your choices and at times be used as an excuse for poor behaviour and a consuming perspective. Sometimes things happen to us that we did not deserve and sometimes it’s so harsh, painful and difficult to understand why people do the things they do. But one of my biggest lessons is knowing that we do not have the power to make someone change, apologise, recognise the hurt they caused you or take accountability for it. The only thing we control is how we react to the situations we are in and how we choose to process that pain. I know I am responsible for the words that leave my lips, the texts I send and how I express my hurt. I choose to never let anyone make me react in a way that is outside of my true authentic self. That is what I am responsible for.

I have learned to forgive myself for allowing people to treat me a certain way, for tolerating toxic friendships, staying in environments that were not conducive to my development and did not align with my values. I am not afraid to acknowledge my part in my journey of pain. I forgive myself for not protecting me at times and I forgive those who hurt me.

I believe in living a truly peaceful life without carrying bags of hurt, betrayal, neglect, disappointment, trauma and pain on my shoulders. That’s the life I want to continue to live but that doesn’t come without putting in the work. I say this to say we are the only ones who can change our circumstances. The only ones who can heal ourselves and change the narrative of feeling like a broken bird to one that flys with ease. First we experience the hurt, then we feel the pain of it and its through enduring that pain and healing from it that we get to the rising.

We all have those moments in life when we hurt others or allow ourselves to be hurt and live with that guilt, regret and pain of it all. I’m sharing my lesson of overcoming, healing and peace to encourage you to find closure within and do the work so you too can be free. It wont be easy and it won’t be quick but i promise you it will be worth it.

I am now in the midst of doing the work to be free and I am at the tail end of it. I can tell you all right now that I have never felt stronger and more empowered. I feel happiness and joy knowing I am leaving so many of those bags I would carry on my shoulders well and truly behind. Healing is so powerful to me and I am a student of life, learning through all my experiences and hoping by sharing them with you, you don’t feel so alone in this world. We are all on the quest for peace. I know you too will find it.

I have a podcast that I love! It helped me understand the process of experiencing the pain then the rising and looking at pain like an opportunity for growth. It’s insightful and inspiring. It’s by one of my favourite authors; Glennon Doyle. First the Pain, Then the Rising. Please give it a listen if you would like at the link below and let me know what you think.

Sending love and light from Vietnam.

Bee xx